Ten things that are spectacularly annoying to the fat, bearded Pinstriped Bible guy right now

manny121708b.jpg10.    Sports radio talk show hosts and callers that endorse $100 million over four years for Manny Ramirez, but not $200 million over eight years for Mark Teixeira.

9.    People who can never admit when they’re wrong, even on the brink of disaster. That is, grown-up infants.

8.    Those same Manny Ramirez advocates who insist that the Yankees cannot sign Teixeira because they must keep first base open for a superannuated Jorge Posada, as if there’s some equivalence there, as if an elderly Posada would hit and field like a first baseman, any first baseman, in the prime of his career.

7.    My complete inability to get a contractor to commit to redoing my front walk. How do these guys make money when they never, ever show up? I’ve had four separate guys give estimates, then disappear.

6.    The realistic possibility that the Yankees will have no young players in the lineup or starting rotation to start the season. In the long term this is a recipe for disaster.

5.    The guy in this very crowded train who either just expired of a digestive meltdown or is consuming rancid sauerkraut. Also, the woman who, prior to the radioactive cabbage incident, perfumed herself in this same car. You’d think this was a German attack at the Somme. Ladies: spraying your perfume around in enclosed public spaces is just selfish and cruel. A rose by any other name would smell just as rank if its odor had been forced on you.

4.    The Baltimore Orioles. The most competitive division in baseball could be one-fifth more exciting with a real team in Maryland. Exception: their automatic Rookie of the Year catcher.

3.    So-called collaborators who leave you holding the bag. Also, the Carolina parakeet. You never see them around anymore.

2.    The extremely lethargic way the winter market is proceeding. At this pace, half the teams in baseball will be unsettled on the eve of spring training.

1.    Tie: Mark Teixeira on the Red Sox/It’s always about you, isn’t it?

Your thoughts here, because I want to know. Also, I might have trouble thinking for myself. You wouldn’t want me to freeze up on cable, would you? Bob Lorenz might yell at me. Also, any number of ex-girlfriends might be watching, and if I can’t appear handsome and prosperous, with your help I might at least seem intelligent. I’ll be checking in during the middle segment of the show, when they keep me locked in the closet.


  1. copoll

    I can’t agree with you more (not that much about the perfume, because I wasn’t there). The idea that the Yankees are not serious about Teixiera because they don’t want to spend the money or because they’re holding first open for Posada or Jeter is asinine. This guy is the PERFECT fit for the Yankees at a time when even signing him for $20-million a year for 10 YEARS wouldn’t be outrageous for them (they’d still be under budget compared to last year), and they’re thinking about MANNY? Who will DEFINITELY decline during the length of a contract he’s willing to sign? Absurd. I said it before CC and AJ, and I’ll say it now–the top priority for 2009 should have been Tex. Tell Bob I said so.

    Jeff Cohen

  2. dachshund4

    Steve, You and I see eye to eye on the team needing Teixeria. Manyy is one of the best RH hitters of all time. It would be fantastic to see the opposing pitcher sweat with 2 on and 0 outs and Rodriguez at bat and Manny on deck and the game on the line. You know ARod is going to get a good pitch because he doesn’t want to face Manny with the bases full of pinstripes. The only thing that spoils that for me is the thought of Manny attempting to play in Death Valley. We can’t keep both Matsui & Manny to DH. With Teixeria, it would not quite as bad for the pitcher but he would be squirming a bit. Give Teixeria whatever is needed, $176M, opt out, no trade, 2-1 yr. options at the end, and loaded with incentives. Put him on 1B and forget about it.

  3. morings42

    How about people who’ve been overrating Mark Teixiera?
    That has to be the most annoying people I’ve met.
    This guy isn’t worth Arod money. Manny for a year or two is.

  4. allanlampert@yahoo.com

    why aren’t the yankees going after MARK TEIXEIRA A player who play a great first base switch hits and with power. A player like this dosen’t come along often

  5. vinman227@hotmail.com

    I feel that the Yankees need help in centerfield the most now. There rotation is now set Sabathia 1, Burnett 2, Wang 3, Joba 4, Hughes/Pettitte 5 Possibly? Why not try to make a trade with the Texas Rangers for Josh Hamilton, he would be a perfect fit in New York a left handed bat with power and a stud in the outfield. Also he could hit behind or in front of AROD to take the pressure off him.

    Vinnie Rullo – East Greenbush, New York

  6. chrisalberico@gmail.com

    Hey Steve – I couldn’t agree more with you regarding the merits of a 100mil/4yr contract for Manny vs 200mil/8yr contract for Tex. Plus as Ken Rosenthal put it signing Tex hurts Boston as much as it helps us, getting Tex could be a real chance to cripple Boston in the winter. Chris

  7. bostonredsoxgirl46

    10 &7. Interesting how they want Manny but not Teixeria. I cannot see Posada at first, at all! I guess you guys need to bolster your outfield since Abreu is likely to leave. As a Red Sox fan, I really don’t want Manny to go, I am still emotionally attached.

    As far as the whole pitching situation, you’re absolutely right, in the long run, it could be very bad. I forget who it is (it might be the Dodgers) who is losing their entire rotation this year.

    It’ll be interesting to see how the whole Teixeria situation goes down. I really don’t think the Sox need him (much as it would be nice). But come on, we did get to game 7 last year right? And what about poor Mike Lowell? The Sox extended his contract last year! Acquiring Tex would be like a mercantilist policy, getting him just so other people can’t.

    Right now, I only want the Sox to sign Tek 🙂


  8. untilthedayidie922@aol.com

    The yankees should get Manny i would love them to get Teixeria but they just wont for some reason i would take the shot with Manny because that would boosts A-Rod’s skills. Look at what Manny did for Ortiz after he left he wasnt the same guy so Its A Must get for the Yankees really if the Red Sox get Teixeria We NEED to get Manny he would complete the off-season along with Andy coming back to make the chase for the World Series!



  9. untilthedayidie922@aol.com

    Hey Steve, with the center field for the Yankees i believe they should keep the two young players they dont need all big name guys they have to have some sparks like Brent Gardner cause he reminds me of some of the players on 98 team and we all know what that season was like.


  10. mickmcf7@msn.com

    everyone iswants Manny OR TEXERIA.HOW about Adrian Gonzalez? San Diego is cutting payroll.The Yankees can afford to trade some good young pitching to get this.So do you think about thi alternitive.

  11. ericns1@comcast.net

    The Yanks will be hated if they spend or not so why not spend especially if it is for a quality guy like Tex versus Manny who will do it – I think AJ will not last all five years – CC would have been fine with Tex. Not even trying with Tex is dumb dumb dumb –

  12. mothra7

    I don’t want to see “Manny Being Manny” in pinstripes. Why would a team want such a capricious player, (no longer at the peak of his career) and then let a rising star with no discernible downside go to Boston? If Teixeira stays in Anaheim, no harm done, but the Red Sox?

  13. richinnj

    6. The realistic possibility that the Yankees will have no young players in the lineup or starting rotation to start the season. In the long term this is a recipe for disaster.

    It’s a virtual certainty that Cano will be in the lineup and that Joba will be in the rotation.

  14. aussy4gm

    you guys are ridiculous ill tell you why we NEED manny ramirez
    1. Manny Ramirez Is The Greatest Postseason Hitter Of All Time
    2.Manny Is STILL a Better Hitter Than Texiera Dont Agree? Look At The Numbers
    3.Manny Ramirez Is CLUTCH and The Only Reason He Declined To Play Last Season Was Because The Red Sox Wouldnt Negotiate His Contract.
    4.He Is Quoted to say that he would love nothing more than to make bostons life a living hell.
    5.he is very good with young hitters
    6.He was a big part of carrying the indians deep into the playoffs and taking the sox to 2 championships

  15. aussy4gm

    and to say that texiera should have been the number one priority is “ASANINE” the reason we didnt make the playoffs is because of Pitching

  16. kkbaseball

    This is going to be a long one…

    1. Texeira is a good fit for the Yankees both personality wise and skills wise. The thought that he’s “annoying” shouldn’t factor into it, since the guy is clean cut and keeps himself out of trouble – I’ve never actually seen anything bad said about him, and maybe everyone prefers the drama that comes with A-Rod, but I prefer winning. He switch hits, which is good in a Yankee lineup that seems easily shut down by a lefty specialist (but being lefty is good, since Yankee Stadium plays that way, even the new one if the dimensions are the same) and he plays Gold Glove defense for a team that desperately needs it.

    2. Manny is not that good a fit, he can’t play in the outfield, him and A-Rod would likely not be forthcoming on who bats 3rd compared to 4th (if that SI article about how Manny and Ortiz argued over the 4th hole and Manny got it because “he was a bigger problem”) and it plunks 2 right handed batters into a lineup simultaneously (once again, easy to pitch around).

    3. Suggesting that the answer might be through trades is foolhardy since the Yankees are not exactly flush with prospects. Free Agency is pretty much the only choice, unless you think you can get somebody to take on a bad contract at too much money for a premier player. “Trade for Adrian Gonzalez”??? I’m sure no other first-baseman strapped teams would try that, and offer better prospects in return…

    4. Hitting would have been a better investment because pitching tends to fall off – a pitcher’s best years are normally before free agency (look up the stats, I’m willing to bet for the most part, early years are better years). Hitters tend to be pretty stable. Not to mention the Yankees have a ton of pitching prospects and no hitting prospects – better to bring up all the pitchers, let them take their big league lumps, and try to sledgehammer to the playoffs, and hope the pitchers grow into it. Or fire all your scouts now, because apparently they are useless and bad at their jobs.

  17. rp10950

    There is no doubt that the Yankees should sign Tex.
    It’s a no brainer, but the Yankees don’t have a brain so they decide to save first base for Posada, who is not a defensive first baseman and never will be, and he’ll be too old…Hey they have the 204 hitting Swisher at first.
    Then they will go after Manny, because they don’t know that he will sulk and not play hard the first Month the fans start to Boo him, because he struck out with bases loaded.
    Why sign Tex? they think, just because the guy is a great first baseman, and Young and can hit for power.
    We don’t need him Cashman thinks, we’ve got Swisher.

  18. drocco

    The two teams that have routinely been able to beat the Yankees (save the Rays, of course) are the Red Sox and the Angels. You could make cases, and many people above have, for signing both Manny and Teixeira.

    Here are my thoughts:
    Manny – notice I refer to him by his first name only. Like he’s some friggin kind of Brazilian soccer star, or something. Yes, he’s great. And yes, one of our significant Yankee stars of the past also went by one name (the same name that was on a candy bar, in fact). And yes, Manny could rip apart the Red Sox and have 19 chances to do it each year. But he’s also not getting any younger, AND he tends to dog balls in the outfield sometimes, while making incredible plays at other times. Only problem is that you don’t know what Manny is gonna show up, because only Manny knows what Manny is going to bring.

    Change gears now. Mark Teixeira. Not even 30 yet, if I have the right information. A switch-hitter, a good switch-hitter, hits for average and power, plays a good first base, and is an upstanding guy, as far as we know. He would also follow in the footsteps of Lou Gehrig, Don Mattingly, Tino Martinez and bring a little respectability back to 1B in the Bronx. Might even be talking about him being the next captain in the Bronx when Jeter winds down. And he’d be a heckuva lot better than Steve Balboni, Kevin Maas, and even Jason Giambi (who is on the downslide).

    The choice is easy. Now it’s a matter of spending $200M more bucks. But Yankee fans, it’s not $200M in one year (it’d probably be over 8 or 9). AND, their payroll would still be less than last year, wouldn’t it?


  19. drocco

    and I didn’t really comment on that in my too-long post – but sign Teixeira because you get a good player AND you keep him away from those two teams I mentioned – AND FOR 8 YEARS! (they can have him when he’s 37 – ha ha)

  20. drocco

    another addendum- I said that it would be $200M over 8-9 years to Yankee fans – but I meant for that to go to Yankee-haters since they seem like the only ones who are griping about all the money we’re spending

  21. jerseyjoe05@hotmail.com

    Steve, points #10 and #8 are right on brother. What I don’t understand is how the “baseball” people in the Org. don’t recognize this. Teixeira for 20+ and a starter still puts us under the cap anyway.

    Tex is approaching the prime of his career… Posada, a CATCHER, is past it. Also, Posada’s value is as a catcher. He has never been as productive as Tex is now. In addition, he will not be close to the defender Tex is. Moreover, I believe that in the Yankee lineup, Tex will be more productive than ever.

    I’m hoping that Cash + Co. is waiting in the background until Tex is close then they will just swoop in and outbid the rest and lock him up.

    Without adding (at least) Tex to the lineup, I’m not sure we have climbed over Boston or Tampa.

  22. btromble_13365@yahoo.com

    The Yankees were 26th in the majors last year in catching balls put in play. They can’t afford to keep signing one dimensional players like Manny. A pitcher is going to be less effective if balls in play that would be caught, drop in for “hits” because of defensive liabilities. Teixeira would be the big bat they along with improving the defense both on balls he would stop from being hits plus the thrown balls he would catch that have cost the Yankees outs since Tino. With Matsui still on the team and not being able to field a position it makes no sense to add another poor fielder like Manny. He would only be a major help if was the DH. One thing I read some place that was disturbing is that Hank Steinbrenner was quoted as saying that if Manny came he could keep his dreads. To me if you’re going to have a grooming code it either applies to everyone or there should be no code at all. Even with Manny at DH it wouldn’t address the defensive deficiencies.

  23. paulemack@aol.com

    I don’t know why the Yankees don’t go after Texeira, they need a First baseman!?! Aside from that, the shift of power will go to the Red Sox forcing the Yankees to go after Manny. Manny is great but I just can’t see him and Girardi in the same clubhouse. Can we get Joe Torre back? If Girardi rests players like he did last year, I’m going to pull my hair out.
    1. Texeira
    2. Manny

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