Tagged: YES

Ten things that are spectacularly annoying to the fat, bearded Pinstriped Bible guy right now

manny121708b.jpg10.    Sports radio talk show hosts and callers that endorse $100 million over four years for Manny Ramirez, but not $200 million over eight years for Mark Teixeira.

9.    People who can never admit when they’re wrong, even on the brink of disaster. That is, grown-up infants.

8.    Those same Manny Ramirez advocates who insist that the Yankees cannot sign Teixeira because they must keep first base open for a superannuated Jorge Posada, as if there’s some equivalence there, as if an elderly Posada would hit and field like a first baseman, any first baseman, in the prime of his career.

7.    My complete inability to get a contractor to commit to redoing my front walk. How do these guys make money when they never, ever show up? I’ve had four separate guys give estimates, then disappear.

6.    The realistic possibility that the Yankees will have no young players in the lineup or starting rotation to start the season. In the long term this is a recipe for disaster.

5.    The guy in this very crowded train who either just expired of a digestive meltdown or is consuming rancid sauerkraut. Also, the woman who, prior to the radioactive cabbage incident, perfumed herself in this same car. You’d think this was a German attack at the Somme. Ladies: spraying your perfume around in enclosed public spaces is just selfish and cruel. A rose by any other name would smell just as rank if its odor had been forced on you.

4.    The Baltimore Orioles. The most competitive division in baseball could be one-fifth more exciting with a real team in Maryland. Exception: their automatic Rookie of the Year catcher.

3.    So-called collaborators who leave you holding the bag. Also, the Carolina parakeet. You never see them around anymore.

2.    The extremely lethargic way the winter market is proceeding. At this pace, half the teams in baseball will be unsettled on the eve of spring training.

1.    Tie: Mark Teixeira on the Red Sox/It’s always about you, isn’t it?

Your thoughts here, because I want to know. Also, I might have trouble thinking for myself. You wouldn’t want me to freeze up on cable, would you? Bob Lorenz might yell at me. Also, any number of ex-girlfriends might be watching, and if I can’t appear handsome and prosperous, with your help I might at least seem intelligent. I’ll be checking in during the middle segment of the show, when they keep me locked in the closet.

State of the Pinstriped Bible: A URL and an experiment

YHS_Logo.jpgThere are some changes here at the Pinstriped Bible to talk about. The first thing to be aware of is for the first time in a long time we have a steady URL. None of that active server pages stuff: from now on, www.pinstripedbible.com will always point here.

Here’s the experiment: this Thursday, I’ll be making an appearance on the YES Network Hot Stove show. My role will be a bit like that of Mr. McFeely on “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” except with more fat and a less impressive moustache. I’ll be bringing the word from the outside, specifically your word. When you come to the Pinstriped Bible, you will also note that for the first time we have comments enabled right here on the page. These comments will form the basis of an exchange between host Bob Lorenz and myself. “What are your readers thinking about this week’s hot stove action?” Bob might say, and I, shot to appear as if I am in a remote bunker (Bob must be protected), will answer, “Well, Bob, we have 142 comments on C.C. Sabathia signing with the Mets!” At that point, Bob will do a spit take, or maybe I will–we haven’t worked out all the details yet.

Hey, don’t panic. C.C. hasn’t signed with the Mets and isn’t going to; that’s just an example. The point is, C.C. supplies the news, I supply the commentary, and you, the loyal readers, supply the 142 comments. It’s not too different from our practice of many years, except that I will be representing your reactions on the air for discussion by Bob and his guests (I am technically not a guest, but a “bunker-dweller”). As such, I’d like to hear from you on the following : What do you think the biggest story of the Yankees’ offseason has been so far?

A. The pursuit of C.C. Sabathia and other free agent pitchers to the possible exclusion of home-grown prospects such as Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy in next year’s rotation? 

B. The team’s apparent lack of interest in Bobby Abreu, to the extent that the team would not even risk a one-year contract through arbitration? 

C. The apparent lack of fervor for Mark Teixeira and the corresponding decision to acquire Nick Swisher and anoint him the starting first baseman? 

D. The team’s apparent expectation that the offense will be re-inflated by a resurgent Jorge Posada and Robinson Cano? 

E. All or None of the Above. 

And, of course, you should feel free to explain. I’ll do my best to summarize your responses and present them to Bob this Thursday at 6:30 on YES. If the resultant discussion is fruitful, we’ll do so again in subsequent episodes of Hot Stove–and who knows? They might even let me out of the bunker. Stay tuned.